Okay, time for Pokemon slash. It might help if I'd seen more than one episode. Although I have played the game.
Title: The Search for James
Pairing: Now that would be giving it away...
Rating: PG, if that.
Disclaimer: Pokemon doesn't belong to me and I've only seen one episode, but I couldn't resist.
Warnings: male on male, as all good slash is. But slightly unusual. Oh yes, ketchup fetishism.
One day Jessie woke up and couldn't find James. She searched everywhere for him. "Meowth, have you seen James?" she asked. Meowth shook his head and went back to playing with the big pile of money he had on the table. Jessie went outside. It was a bright, shining day and the in the grass in front of her was a big flock of pidgeys searching for caterpies among the blades. Jessie walked down the path. She looked all around her. She spotted an arbok sleeping up on the hill and ran up to him. "Excuse me, arbok, have you seen James?"
The arbok lifted his head and yawned. "Yes, I did see James, just as the sun was rising. He was skipping down towards the lake. He looked pretty happy about something."
"Thanks," said Jessie. She made her way down to the lake. There was a gyarados lying snoozing on its back in the centre of the lake. "Oi! Gyarados!" called Jessie.
"Yes?" said the gyarados, waking up.
"Did you see James this morning? The arbok said he saw him come down here."
"Oh yes," said the gyarados, "I gave him a lift across. He was singing and giggling the whole way across. I nearly dumped him in the lake. Would you like a lift? Only promise not to giggle, it makes me ticklish."
The gyarados lifted Jessie across the lake. "He went that way," it said, pointing with a fin towards the forest.
"Thanks, gyarados," said Jessie.
Half way into the forest, Jessie came across a big fat raticate foraging in the undergrowth. It raised its head and said "Are you looking for James?"
"Yes," replied Jessie, "have you seen him?"
"I sure have," said the raticate. "He was picking flowers from that patch over there and putting them into his hair."
Jesse considered this.
"Has he got a new lover?" asked the raticate.
"No, James hasn't had a girlfriend for years and surely he'd tell me."
The raticate snorted to itself and grinned. "He was headed over towards Pallet Town," it said.
"Thank you," said Jessie. She was getting rather annoyed by this stage. James should have been out with her committing evil deeds, not swanning off to Pallet Town with flowers in his hair. She decided to give him a good lashing with her Team Rocket Whip ™ when she found him.
When she reached Pallet Town she saw Misty sitting by the side of the road talking to a jigglypuff. The jigglypuff seemed quite upset about something. "Jessie, if you're looking for Ash to beat up, he's gone to visit his grandmother. He didn't even take Pikachu with him."
"Jig-GLE-ee-PUFF!" shouted the jigglypuff, bouncing around in distress.
"What's up with the jigglypuff?" asked Jessie.
"I'm not sure; I can't speak its language, it just keeps putting me to sleep," said Misty. "But I think it saw something this morning that upset it quite a lot. If only I knew what it was. Do me a favour and go and find Pikachu, will you? He'll be able to talk to it."
At the word "Pikachu" the jigglypuff bounced even more than before.
"Jig-GLE-ee-PUFF! Jig-GLE-ee-PUFF! Jig-GLE-ee-PUFF!!!" it yelled. Jessie opened her mouth to say something more to Misty, but she was already asleep.
Making her way into Pallet Town, Jessie saw the shopkeeper sitting outside his shop waiting for customers. "Morning, Jessie!" he called. "Are you having a barbecue for lunch or something?"
"No," said Jessie in surprise, "What makes you think that?"
"Well," said the shopkeeper, "a couple of hours ago, James came in here and bought a big bottle of ketchup. He seemed in a very good mood. I wondered if it was Meowth's birthday."
"No, it's not," said Jessie. "I've been looking for James since I got up this morning."
"Well, last I saw him he was walking towards Ash's house. I figured he was just going to invite Pikachu to the party since Ash is away."
"Not that I know of," replied Jessie, "but thanks, I'll look for him there."
Ash's house was deserted. Jessie banged on the door and shouted for Pikachu, but no-one answered. She decided to check round the back. When she was half way there, she saw that the top of the treehouse tree was waving around quite a lot. And when she got all the way there a big dollop of tomato sauce came whizzing across the garden and hit her in the eye. While she was dealing with this inconvenience she heard Pikachu's voice, steadily increasing in volume: "pika....pika....pika..pikaaaaa...." And there was a loud grunt that sounded very much like the noise James made after she'd given him a hiding with her Team Rocket Whip ™. Now she could see again Jessie observed that the treehouse was swaying back and forth in a most alarming fashion. And there was *ketchup* dripping out of the window!
Pikachu's voice was heard again, very loud: "PIKAAAAA...."
There was a zzzzzap
"AAArg!!!" sounded James' voice, quickly followed by a long contented sigh.
"Chuuuuuuuuuu..............." echoed the voice of the pikachu.
Jessie was not sure what she'd just heard. "James?" she called.
She just caught a muffled "Shit!" from inside the treehouse and then James' head and shoulders appeared over the edge of the window. There were purple flowers tangled in his hair and ketchup was smeared across his cheeks and in a line down his nose. "Yes, Jessie?" he asked, doing his very best to look innocent despite the fact that he also had no shirt on and very possibly no pants either.
While Jessie struggled to find something to say, James' Team Rocket Rose ™ poked itself up over the edge of the treehouse window. It appeared to have Pikachu underneath it. And a large amount of tomato sauce in its petals. Pikachu licked his lips and looked thoughtfully at Jessie. He didn't appear in the least ashamed.
"What are you *doing*?" Jessie finally managed.
"I caught Pikachu," said James with some pride.
Ever prepared for such an eventuality, Jessie produced a Pokéball from her pocket. "Here! Stick him in! It's taken way too long for this to happen!" she said eagerly.
"Oh no," said James, "you're not putting him in a Pokéball. In fact, you're not having him at all. He's *mine*. Go and help Meowth count his money or something."
She stood there stunned.
"Go on, off you go," said James.
Team Rocket ™ Pikachu fired the ketchup bottle at her. She managed to dodge the flying sauce this time and beat a hasty retreat.
James and Pikachu surveyed the ketchup-smeared treehouse. "Well, that was fun," said James. "What now?"
Pikachu grinned evilly, straightened the Team Rocket Rose ™ behind his ear, took suitably low aim with the sauce bottle and fired.
Soon afterwards, the treehouse began to rock again.